I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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