sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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