I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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