Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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