Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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