ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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