Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize