Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
