This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
