If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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