At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it was like his penis was on wheels.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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