I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
