I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize