I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
