I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
