it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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