i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
