Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
