Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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