Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
