He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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