remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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