how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize