you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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