I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
