i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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