his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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