btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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