Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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