FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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