Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
