How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
