The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
false alarm. still invincible.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
