I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
love makes seman taste better
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
