What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
