what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
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