I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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