Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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