so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm really busy with my period
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