loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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