so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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