this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize