i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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