my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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