I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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