Did I show you my penis last night?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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