Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
