I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
