OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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