A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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