North Korea, Best Korea!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
