she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize