You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
