Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
its liver damage thursday
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
