so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize